#18 One Life Changing Public Speaking Secret
Updated: Feb 27, 2019
The fear of public speaking is real. Let's get rid of it.
I'm preparing to host an event tonight and even though it's an event that I'll probably know most everybody there, before any type of public speaking gig, I generally go through this sort of panic mode. Can you relate?
Today I'm going to tell you one secret I just learned about public speaking. It was one of those things that I've always known about unconsciously, but I didn't really know it, know it. (If that makes any sense.)
I'm obsessed with Donald Miller's Story Brand podcast. Love, love, love, love, love. If you don't listen to the podcast, go to Storybrand.com and DEVOUR THIS STUFF. And no, I am not paid to say that. I love it. It's amazing.
Story Brand helps you clarify your business message in a way that's easy to understand. They also give great business tips and advice. Recently, Donald Miller interviewed Mike Pacchione. Mike works for the communications firm Duarte and he gives 70 speeches a year. (He actually teaches public speaking.) This was truly one of those life changing moments for me. I encourage you to listen to the podcast yourself at Storybrand.com.
THE BIG SECRET
Anyway, one of the things Mike said, and this totally stuck with me, was this:
Your audience mirrors your emotions.
So, while I'm up on stage and while you're up on stage, whether you're hosting an event, giving a keynote, speaking at your church, a club, even in a small group, your audience mirrors your emotions.
YOU actually tell them whether or not to be comfortable with you. And the only way you can tell them to be comfortable with you is if you're comfortable with yourself. If you're not comfortable with yourself, no one else is going to be comfortable with you.
If you've ever heard someone speak and kind of cringed and you weren't really sure why, you just couldn't put your finger on it, that's why. They're uncomfortable with themselves. (Light bulb moment.)
Is THAT What I Sound Like??
I was in radio broadcasting for 8 years so after a while I was forced to get really comfortable with hearing myself. But when I first heard the sound of my voice I was like, EEEWWWWWW is that what I sound like?
When I saw myself on video for the first time it was even worse. You see, I think I look like a supermodel and then I look at the video and I'm like, ewe, no Dana. It's okay, I'm a supermodel inside. ;)
Anyway, we've all been there, right? Where we see a picture of ourselves and it's never taken from the best angle. Or we hear our voice for the first time, we're like "ewe". But really, the only way you can learn to love your voice is practice, and also remember, if you're self-conscious about something, other people will notice it, but if you just own people will too.
How to Get Over It
People are too busy wrapped up in their own lives to actually even care what you're doing, and that has always helped me. Anytime I'd go anywhere and I'm like, what am I going to wear?? I think, Dana, nobody cares, nobody's going to remember what you're wearing.
Everybody cares about what they're wearing and what they're doing and how they look and how they're perceived, and when you really understand that, it gives you a freedom to be yourself.
When you're comfortable with yourself, your audience is going to be comfortable with you and it's going to go a lot more smoother.
So, whether it's a small group, an office meeting, a keynote speech, or teaching Sunday school, just remember, our audience mirrors our emotions. When we're comfortable with ourselves, our audience will be comfortable with us.
Just Do It
That's the secret. If you're not comfortable with yourself, no one else will be, and the only way to get comfortable with yourself, is practice, practice, practice, practice, practice, and remember that nobody cares really how you sound or what you look like because they're more wrapped up in what they look like and how they sound.
So, with that, I guess that's it. I just wanted to help you out there.
Honestly, sometimes I think I might be a little too comfortable with myself. With that, I'm out. Love you guys!